The most important personality trait one can develop is self-esteem

The most important personality trait one can develop is self-esteem.

"To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance." - Oscar Wilde

Self esteem is all about attitude. It's about how you feel about yourself more than how the world feels about you. Being a harsh self-critic or overly judgmental upon your self can create a grave depression and can lower your self esteem. Low self-esteem is a result of lack of self-acceptance and a shortage of self-love. How you face the world is determined by your self-image, the mental picture of the wholeness of you. Your self-image is defined and modified over time by significant human experiences and by the interactions you have with others. It is actually a fragile thing that you should take care of, to begin with. When this self image gets distorted, you are on your way to the dark room of feeling incompetent, incapable, unpretty, and unwanted.

Feeling hopeless, dwelling on negative beliefs, lacking in trust, suffering from psychological isolation, and portraying a false image are some of the symptoms of low self-esteem. If you feel that you are experiencing even a little dash of these things, you have got to stand on your feet and act quickly before you allow dark clouds clutter your head.

Tip 1: Think about a scenario when you were doing something new for the first time or trying on a new hobby or task.
Remember when you had your first salsa class or a painting class? Learning something new is often accompanied by feelings of nervousness, lack of self-belief and high stress levels, all of which are necessary parts of the learning process. The next time you feel under-confident, this will help to remind you that it's perfectly normal - you're just learning!

Tip 2: Do something you have been putting off.
It could be anything from fixing the car, clearing your old clothes, organizing the bills, picking up something new you are interested in, to heading to the gym. It could be anything that involves you making a decision, then follow through!

Tip 3: Do something you are good at.
Write down a list of your favourite to dos. It could be something you have been doing or something you have done before that you enjoyed very much. It could be cycling, running, joining a marathon or a race, going to the gym 4 times a week, yoga, pilates, swimming, dancing, baking, cooking, rock climbing, painting, writing and the list goes on. These should be activities that could hold your attention and require enough focus to get you into that state of flow where you forget about everything else. You will feel more competent, accomplished, and capable afterwards - great antidotes to low self-esteem! Consider doing your favourite to dos regularly, maybe at least 3 times a week. Having that zest of euphoria in your body on a frequent level helps elevate your self esteem!

Did you know that even running for a few minutes helps? When running, your body releases feel-good endorphins. These stimulation hormones make you feel happy, relaxed and energized.

Tip 4: Stop thinking about yourself!
This may sound strange, but low self-esteem is often accompanied by too much focus on the self. Doing something that absorbs your focus to yourself and diverts your attention to others can quickly make you feel better. In short, do things for others.

Tip 5: Get seriously relaxed.
If you are feeling low, anxious or lacking in confidence, the first thing to do is to stop thinking and relax properly. Cut the sad thoughts. Some people do this by exercising. Others practice self-hypnosis, meditation, or a physically based relaxation technique such as Tai Chi. These could be incredibly useful.

You may schedule a short getaway, get lazy, and let loose on a beach. However, you do not have to necessarily get away to relax your mind. Find a tranquil setting, dim the lights, or light candles with aromatherapy oil, in a meditation position, close your eyes, and shut your mind. Listen to soothing slow music to enhance the ambiance, if you prefer.

Tip 6: Remember all the things you have achieved.
This does not have to literally mean conquering Mount Everest. It could be the simpler things, like helping your families and friends, saving your money, going on a holiday with your family or friends, passing your exams in school when you doubt them the most, joining the gym even if you quit after 3 months. It is not exactly how things work out. It is having that effort put into place and actually serving that effort. Sometimes, things do not go perfectly as you wished they would, but knowing the fact you have tried to the best of your ability, is an achievement itself.

Tip 7: Remember that you could be wrong!
If you are feeling bad about yourself, bear in mind that the way you feel affects your thoughts, memory, and behavior. So when you feel bad, it might be because you choose to remember the bad times. Dwelling on these thoughts makes you develop the pessimist attitude. When this happens, repeat Tip 5. You need to relax, think of happy thoughts!

To learn more how to encourage happy thoughts and enhance mood, visit www.cosmic-joy.com.