Bickering that causes stress begins and ends with you.
Too much stress has emotional and physical impact. Signs of stress overload are tension, irritability, inability to concentrate, and various physical problems that include headache and fast heartbeat.
Everyone of us experiences stress in different levels, depending on the severity of the situation.
Relationship problems due to constant criticisms, arguments, yelling, and verbal abuse can strongly cause stress. Crises such as adultery, illness, the death of a loved one are also trigerring factors of emotional stress.
Ignoring the matter may provide temporary relief, but they can result to long-term trouble. It is best to understand the fact that these problems begin and end with you. Get rid of the blame game and bury your ego because it is not worth the end of a wonderful relationship nor the destruction of your health, too.
Steps you can take to overcome relationship stress:
1. Reward yourself with space. Get away from each other for an agreed amount of time. The time off has to be agreed between the two parties. Clear your mind, have a breather, and calm down. You know you are better at filtering your words and actions with a calmer mind. Think of what has happened, what has let it to happen, what you do not like about it, how you see things with your partner, and what you are willing to work for to make it better.
2. Keep yourself busy. One fantastic way to distract your mind about relationship stress is to focus entirely on work or school. When you are immensely delved with work, you tend to forget about what the issues are and how much of a stress it is causing you. Pick up a new hobby, go out with your friends and colleagues, and keep yourself busy in the program! The more alone time you have, the more depressed you will get. Instead of clearing your mind during the time off, you can't stop thinking about your partner. Do yourself this favour if you want the best for the relationship.
3. Both of you HAVE to talk it out. No matter what it is, know that at the end of the day, the two of you have to talk it out. Meet your partner for dinner at the end of the cooling period. You can also cook dinner and invite he or she over. When discussing relationship problems, it is better to do it behind closed doors away from public sight, the talk will allow both of you to speak your mind without any interruptions or distractions.
4. Address your issues the same way you would like to receive it. Pretend to be in the other person's shoes. Give it the same way you would like to receive it. If you do not want to be shouted, abused or criticized, then do not behave that way towards your partner. If you prefer to be spoken to gently and nicely, let it start with you. Things will reciprocate naturally if you make it known. If you do not like something that your partner does to you, speak up. Be honest and say the truth. There are many ways how messages can be delivered. Being aggressive does not necessarily mean an effective message delivered. When both of you open up, problems and solutions are shared. You know things are always happier after a good talk with your partner.
5. Do not involve third parties to your problems. Many of us may not realize this, but when we have relationship problems, our mistake occurs when we talk it out with a friend or colleague when we should actually be talking it out with the intended partner. When you invite an outsider, who does not know the entire matter completely, who does not know what the two of you have gone through, be it 8 years or 2 years, they tend to pass remarks solely on general mindset. Bear in mind, even in a courtroom, the judge will always listen to both stories of the parties before passing a judgment.
6. There is no time for ignorance. If you or your partner have realized that your arguments have increasingly occurred more than usual, then it is time that you seek help with a therapist. Make sure the both of you see the therapist together. Therapist is definitely better than any of your colleagues, friends or families. A therapist knows nothing of your background and will help you based on what the two of you brings to the table. Therefore, the therapist cannot judge unless she or he hears both sides of the story.
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